Beyonce's "Crazy In Love" voted as NME track of the decade.

Really?!

Source: NME.com

The Flat Cap

The fucking geniuses at Garudio Studiage have come up with this surreal little number.

By combining a tower block, a flat cap and little card board cut-outs of Dame Edna Everage, Barack Obama and pigeons, a wonderful thing has been born.

Read more about it at http://www.garudiostudiage.com/

Mine's in the post.

ZOMG! New Moon Review

Love it or hate it, the Twilight franchise is everywhere. Intrigued by the ever-growing number of pre-pubescent girls carving "Team Edward" into their foreheads, I've decided to watch and review New Moon after vowing never to touch the franchise. After a large slice of humble pie I sat down and watched the film with an unbiased mindset, something I haven't done since Dark Knight.


Now, I've not read the books, and I've not seen the first film. I've heard so much about Twilight over the past year I didn't feel it was necessary. How hard can it be to grasp? Girl meets boy, girl falls for boy, boy tells girl he's vampire, girl asks boy to change her, boy says no, moral dilemma ensues. Simples.

But rather than reviewing this film in relation to the original source and the fluent transition from its predecessor, I'll be reviewing New Moon in terms of script, acting and overall narrative flow.

From the director who brought you pie-fucking, New Moon follows the story of sunlight-proof vampire Edward Cullen (Robert Pattenson), and his choice to leave the "love of his life" Bella (Kristen Stewart) after a papercut. The typical fuck-then-chuck scenario. Cue the inevitable emotional breakdown and muscle-bound werewolf Jacob (Taylor Lautner) to pick up the pieces

kthanxbai

To cut a two-hour film short, some vampire girl from the previous film is hunting Bella over the death of her lover. The shirtless werewolf pack protect her, but some sort of piss-poor communication leads Cullen to believe she died in a cliff jumping accident. The King of Cheekbones then flees to Italy to provoke some vampire council, only for his ever-annoying sister Alice Cullen and Bella to intervene at the last minute. The hard-ass vampire lords learn of Bella's awareness of their secret race and present Edward with an ultimatum. Either kill Bella, or turn her into a vamp. Here's hoping he chooses the former.

Classic case of girl mixing in with wrong crowd after being dumped. As she falls deeper into the sanctuary of the werewolf club, she begins seeing ghostly apparitions of her former lover (a devise introduced by the producers to keep as much of R-Pattz in the movie as possible), but in relation to eye candy, Jacob steals the show.

Put some clothes on. Srsly.

The acting is wooden, substandard at best, the script is loosely written with little to no effort being made transcending tangible teenage angst into the narrative, and the mythology is utter balls. The title of the film suggests the opposite of a full-moon, so how it is possible for werewolves to transform at will? I'm no Twilight theologian, so I can't explain the reasoning behind that one.

In essence, New Moon is something we've seen before. The staple teenage-angst narrative placed upon the supernatural template does not make it original. It seems apparent from watching the film that Meyers has borrowed conventions from Anne Rice, Romeo & Juliet and Pride & Prejudice. I can appreciate why The Twilight Saga appeals to a mass audience, but there are far better examples of girl-getting-dumped stories within the ether of popular culture.

New Moon supports the argument that there are no original stories, only original concepts.

Rating: a merciful 2/5

Jordan Metcalf - Graphic Designer/Illustrator

Ohai,
The latest issue of WUW: Whatever U Want Magazine features some conceptual work by Jordan Metcalf. His portfolio ranges from vinyl figures, to greeting cards and typography. Even his business cards look fucking cool.

www.behance.net/thiswinter
www.flickr.com/photos/sadmascot

I'm in love.

Wall Stickers

The creative geniuses over at Hu2 have designed various quirky wall stickers for the more discerning connoisseur.

The designs on this site are wicked-cool. A whole range of stickers are available for purchase. The laptop stickers are particularly good.

The Smart Vinyl Laboratory - www.hu2.com

Marvelous.

Bruce Timm

I've started to develop unrealistic expectations of women.










canihaswonderwoman.

plzthnx.

"Tales Of Mere Existence" by Lev Yilmaz

Genius.

Oh Noes! DEDWARD!

Finally, the inevitable has happened. The wonder boys have been booted off the X-Factor. Despite the general consensus believing it couldn't have come a moment too soon, the cheeky Irish chappies had a good innings, regardless of how shit they were.

Now, I don't watch X-Factor. Well, I do watch the first round of auditions for the hilarity value. I start to loose interest when Simon Cowell consults an 80's has-been when choosing his final four. The Christmas gravy train doesn't appeal to me. In all the show's five years it's managed to produce one commercially successful finalist (only for her to get twatted by some nutter in Waterstones). Anyhoo, since the twin's initial audition, controversy has stuck to them like shit to a blanket. The show has been subjected to Watchdog enquiries, conspiracy theories, a prank with a pineapple and Louis Walsh consistently burning with the incandescence of Irish Pride. Regardless of the controversy, Jedward were gaining popularity.

The rollercoaster ride of the Jedward case had gained momentum in recent weeks. From fourteen year-old girls flashing their under-developed chests at the boys, to avoiding the boot at the expense of more popular and talented acts (I personally think that guy with the 'fro should have been saved. His hair FTW). But you can't deny that the boys have the potential of grasping a pinch of fame from the X-Factor fall-out. Their cheeky demeanour and devout following could give them enough juice for a career that'll last until...well, I'll say April 2010 at the least.

But alas, the dream has come to an end for Jedward. Because of my ignorance for all things X-Factor, my opinion reflects that of the vox populi. This is how I've interpreted it - Jedward have been both irritating and irresistible. You loved to hate them. Their place in the final allowed you to hark back to the hilarious days of the initial auditions, and the memories of the Jeremy Kyle hum-drum that belted out karaoke gold for our viewing pleasure. I imagine The X-Factor will become boring with the departure of John and Edward.

On a lighter note, Jedward fans have got the inevitable single to look forward to. A cover of PJ and Duncan's Let's Get Ready To Rumble.

Watch us wreck the mic, watch us wreck the mic...

Renton Skinner - Comic genius

In reference to the recent series of Shooting Stars, Johnny Vegas was replaced on the pannel by Renton Skinner's character Angelos Epithemiou. The outcome was hilarious.

This man is a comic genius.

You be the judge -

Gerald Scarfe

I've recently rediscovered my love for Gerald Scarfe. The political cartoonist from St John's Wood is most noted for his work on Pink Floyd's The Wall and as a conceptual character illustrator for Disney's Hercules (which to this day I have argued is Disney's best animated feature).

These days Scarfe is still lampooning politics. His recent works depict Obama as Superman and Gordon Brown feeding the mouths of the faceless unemployed. Scarfe still hits chords.

The man has a brilliant, albeit perverse mind. Check out more of his work at geraldscarfe.com. I've always wanted to purchase an original copy of his iconic Marching Hammers, but I would need to get one of my scripts commissioned first.

In other news, a recent study has revealed that 90% of student absenteeism is due to hangovers.

Ya think?

It's Never Lupus

After starting HOUSE season one back in July, I'm finally up to speed!

HOUSE has been popular here in the UK since it's inception in 2004. Hugh Laurie is a national treasure of Ol' Blighty, but for some reason or another, I never gave it the time of day.

A good friend of mine formally introduced me to the series. Well, I say introduced but in reality he gave me an emotion-fuelled ultimatum. If I didn't start watching it, we couldn't be friends anymore. Obviously I relented.

At first I was slightly reluctant about HOUSE. In the past medical dramas have failed to float by boat, but after watching several episodes it really began to appeal to me. The medical mysteries fall nothing short of imaginative, and the character development is bang on the mark (even the brief and somewhat pointless story arc involving hard-ass cop Tritter was fluent with character). The relationship between House and Wilson is my favorite narrative convention, and the writing is as tight as a nun's arse. HOUSE gets better with every season.

I wish the same could be said about LOST.

Nov' 09 Playlist

Here's a handfull of some of my current favs. These usually crop up in my sets from time to time. Some new and old tracks.

Frankie Knuckles - Your Love (famously sampled by The Source with Candi Staton's You've Got The Love, which is now everywhere, yet again, thanks to Florence and the Machine. Fuckers.)
Fresh Prince of Bel Air - Mustard Remix
Herve - Cheap Thrills
Wolfgang Gartner - Wolfgang's 5th Symphony (amazing)
Sidney Samson – Riverside

Have a ganders.

Kinetic Typography - Iconic quotes that dance.

I've pretty much spent most of the day watching these.

Brilliant.

Kurt Halsey - Reflections of Sentiment

American artist Kurt Halsey has compiled an inspiring portfolio of work that derives inspiration from comics and music. Using his self-confessed “super sensitive” mindset, Halsey has created a large body of work that liberates a rose-tinted sentiment. It’s simple and effective. I’m a big fan of his work.

Check him out at Kurthalsey.com

Seriously, I love this guy.

My latest obsession

Olivia Wilde.

schwing.